by Mariam Ahmed
where do dreams go
when we awaken?
they dissipate into
unknown dimensions
a portal opens
siphoning
air from my lungs
why is it harder
to breathe
when I’m
with you?
my once
wild thoughts
turning stale quick
after
you spoke
so
soft
leave
my bleeding
heart
on this tray table
I’m in no upright position
when the oxygen
mask falls
I won’t reach for it
the barest glance
upward
out the window
it’s black
the lights dim
I brace for
this involuntary
voyage into
my soul
it soaks my skin,
prickles, leaving me
drier than before
I knew you.
touch down: the
vessel shaking
salty tears
down my face
landing in
unknown spaces
time lapses away
water and perfume
sprinkled on soil
will keep her
gravesite cool
and safe
he said she’s having
rainbow-flavored
pomegranate seeds
for dessert tonight
an ear to the
headstone,
hands cupped
in supplication
mom & dad
say, pray only for
the best outcome—
so what
you wish
cannot cause pain
I’m no stranger
to pain, but
what’s
on the other side?
when I’m alone
I feel her sometimes
& it reminds me
I have to get up
so I shower, sprinkle
myself with
water and perfume
fix my face
I could wrap myself in it
your laughter
sleep
soundly through
cold nights
maybe through
the whole night
I spend
hours
reading to children
as they giggle
at silly rhymes
slipping chocolate into
their hands, delight
in their eyes.
the sounds, they
swirl & spiral
reaching you
in the sky
too scared
to share
how I
truly feel—will the
sun disappear?
I’m steady in
this state of mind
shielded by smoke
from pens & ink that
cannot run dry
guarded with
smiles &
small items—
suddenly, I see
the future
you’re not in it
& I grow sadder
so I smile wider
I love love
but I don’t know
what it is anymore
how to grow it
how to make it
last
longer than
short
bursts
what if I became
the rain again?
By the Fever of Fallibility
by Jack Dunnett
Mariam Ahmed is a Californian poet. She has her bachelor’s degree in English with a minor in sociology from UC Davis and an MFA in poetry from San Diego State University. She has been published by The Offending Adam and Three Rooms Press, and has been a featured poet across California.
Jack Dunnett is a mixed media painter who grew up in the Highlands of Scotland. He obtained his Bachelor of Arts in Painting from Gray’s School of Art in 2017. He currently lives and works in Glasgow.
Ignatian Literary Magazine 